For the last few weeks (or months even) I’ve been worrying, complaining, sulking etc at the thought of returning to work after maternity leave. To say I was dreading it would’ve been an enormous understatement. The thought filled me with fear to the pit of my stomach. It wasnt work as such that was the problem it was mostly having to leave Millie and the realisation that my baby is becoming a little girl and I’m not going to ever get this time back.
(Millie loving her first day at nursery)
Fast forward and Im now two weeks into the whole “work” thing and actually it hasn’t been anywhere near as bad as I was expecting. It has helped hugely that Millie is a sociable little thing and has been such a good girl settling at nursery and also that I’m only working two days a week at the moment and Mr H has been doing some of the childcare for those two days.
So instead of thinking about the negatives, which Ive spent a lot of time doing lately, I thought I’d share some of the best bits of returning to work.
1.Weeing in peace – oh the absolute delight at sitting on the loo and not having to shout a hundred times over “Im here darling, wont be a minute” or worse still having a wriggling toddler sitting on your knee while you’re trying to pee.
2. Conversation – me and Millie chat a lot at home but it just doesnt quite cut it when the only response you get is a ba ba da or the odd high pitched screech so having someone actually replying when you talk to them has been really rather nice. Ive also lasted a whole day without having a conversation about the colour and consistency of poo which is the universal conversation for all mothers!
3. Hot coffee – a full cup of it. Drank in one sitting, not reheated in the microwave six times over. This is the one everyone told me I’d enjoy being back at work for and they were right. Ive even had time to dunk a couple of biscuits mid-cuppa too.
4. Thinking – it’s not like I haven’t done any thinking while I’ve been off work, I spent endless hours thinking/worrying about all things baby. However actual proper intellectual thinking has been somewhat limited, so it’s been quite refreshing to have to use my brain at a different level again. Admittedly this has been quite hard though because baby brain really is a thing (google it if you don’t believe me!) and something I used to figure out in a minute is now taking a good five!
5. Heels – it’s been great to put on a nice pair of shoes that don’t need to be suitable for climbing into whatever hole Millie has managed to get herself stuck in. I do now have several blisters and a bleeding heel to show for it though…
6. Independence – I have truly loved every single minute I’ve been able to spend at home with Millie and I do feel a little bit guilty about this one but it’s actually been good to have a few hours of just being me again!
As much as I still continue to moan about work, writing this has made me realise it’s not all doom and gloom after all. If I’ve learnt one thing from the last few weeks it is to not feel guilty at enjoying being back at work….
……Mummy guilt really is the worst!!!!